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Death before delusion

by cats don't have souls

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1.
Still in tact after all these years convulsing internally the constant buzz the lunatic hears one step closer it don't matter what you find it's quite fuckin' ugly on the inside blacker than a nicotine soul escape to formaldehyde dreams one bong load at a time fuck you sink no beers no more tears suicide improbable illogical barely hypothetical i tell you my friend i find it hysterical suck it
2.
Incinerate 02:53
What if i could say all the things you wanted to speak of would anything change if you decided to stay to remain stagnant light the fires and prepare to incinerate this is not what it looks like nor what it fails to say regular faces personas all delusions disowned and thrown away but patience is a virtue what's a blessing from a curse maybe one day you'll miss me but for now fuck the hearse but nothing lasts forever and there's so much shit to sort I'd love to stand before a jury but I don't give a fuck about no court.
3.
It's not an attempt at sanity bridge closed light years away ever so present I'm still here I'm still listening so decide on something unrealistic it only exists in theory like faith betrayed we're drifting away what is this that stands before me now she says these things and god knows I don't want to hear what does it matter ? I think I should know better
4.
Brain cancer 02:48
To escape hopelessly needles poke relief breathe a sigh could we try and work something out well if it was somebody locked in an empty room for three hundred sixty five days reeducation nothing goes unnoticed the hours tick away tick tock and the mutated cattle feed the diseased masses and everybody dies of cancer these days twisting the knife this all used to matter so what now what will it take is it worth the cathode rays this ugly face what do you mean ?nothing but it's been a dream long since faded and we're adjusting here screaming the words watching time too much time
5.
Relax the bugs are coming back after the deep freeze shiver and shake tiny feet dance in a blackened space with fluorescent spheres so cruel the world she'll be forced to endure getting tired staring at the light sometime we'll just have to freeze having an emergency is no excuse unless you stick someone else with the bill the sick and the whores when will we fall ?
6.
Flicker 03:57
Slinking back into existence somewhere outside the end rough around loose edges lost and spaced still tracking the sent of things that went unnoticed for years your darkest fears keeping clear in a dark space what can you replace tripping along losing it's glow flicker and fade belief in anything worth counting the days every time the bell rings are you losing out are you missing out these things you can never have back you want so badly to cling to these relics from your fucked up past staring back at you let the chaos flow damned if we do or ever breaking the window outside looking at memories changing finally started cracking extorted and I'm feeling fine bridge over poising beneath there's venom I'll meet you anywhere somewhere far in the most remote of all feeling seething with insanity drooling I can not relate drugged up somebody keep me good and fucked up bring it down drag it out waiting in anticipation of the moment silence pounding the final nail in you should make sure what you bury is properly dead
7.
Unscathed 09:14
Speeding down a grey spiraling highway clinging on I hear the voices inside say I just sold them my soul and a shiny black car pulls up next to me thought I'd off myself and go with a smile but suicide just ain't my style so I guess I'll stay a little while just wish it didn't feel like a murder trial you know sometimes we outlast our use and you know we really could use some kind of truce but if I can dig myself out of this shallow grave I'll be surprised if I could keep myself unscathed unscathed I've been thinking about the words that I say my friend i tell ya I found a better way it's not something that just came to my mind Ya never quite know what you'll leave behind So once again down that twisted road where it leads, you never know where is home, if this is it I could use a rest but there ain't no time to sit sometimes you know we outlast our use and we really could use some kind of truce but if I could dig myself out of this shallow grave I'd be surprised if I can keep myself unscathed And we'll wash away all our fears in the sunlight that never shines unseen but still so present as if nothing ever died at all is anything permanent? and if it lasts, can you hold it up? there's always meaning if you can try to wish away all the pain and sing while all the lies die holding on as tight as we can somethings just remain to be seen but then again we're still here something's gotta give.... when you stay here don't expect it to ever come back
8.
I've got no reverence No time time for faith in what you claim I will not recognize your lies as truths far from legitimacy, just bullshit and deception fuck you pig boot licker insidious waste of trash you violent piece of shit The only good cop is at the end of my dick choking on me how do you live with yourself? how the fuck do you sleep at night? I ain't afraid of no badge or a gun how tall you stand when you're armed to the teeth you mindless piece of shit faggot. suck my cock. you neither serve, nor protect lying, raping, killing you ain't doing us no favors be a good piggy get on your knees and suck my dick in your path of destruction you victimize and leave behind emotional wrecks just think of all the lies you have destroyed you fascist piece of nazi shit time to work for those tax dollars get down on your knees and open wide.
9.
Perfect 05:24
Singing violence I'm fucking warped everybody has lost their minds shit makes me feel very small there's no harder way melting me away they'll lead you anywhere the saltwater death spiral feels like seaweed when lived in denial shit's too scary please kill my political enemies and steal from my neighbors I promise on their behalf they agree You continue to have faith in bondage but this is how we do it this is how we've done it over and over again it might not be perfect but it's the best system that we've ever had insane folk logic it might not be perfect but it's the best system that we've ever had culture molded mafia get in line
10.
Intentions 03:32
Been here before left everything I had to say at the door somewhere along the lines everything got blurred forgive miscommunications berating each other vindictive attacks something always wakes up inside and starts puking out words it doesn't mean what will it take just to get you to believe honest intent It's not ruined yet saving face when you tell all your friends about the happenings there's still room to breathe even if you've run all out of excuses all things will pass and right the wrongs never learned to forget only to carry on we can't all hide forever and everything looks brighter when you've been locked in dark rooms your whole life everybody needs to get away sometime now and then we forget to move sometimes it just takes forever
11.
All the hope you had losing trust letting go of this web of lies torturous fate belief in nothing tearing away at the inside regret in hopes we don't forget it's never going to be easy learn and burn it out you know I've taken all the steps each moment passed that never comes back on repeat hold still count to ten we'll hide in the holes poked in the fabric of time nothing is quite the same I know you tried now look me in the eye and tell me what it is you've known all along if it's only a dream then closing your eyes won't make it disappear you can paint reality one thousand times over you can never change the truth you always knew what it meant you always knew just what did not belong Empty faced running scared dodging the dirty little things you fear living in vain when you're praying for pain the story always ends the same nothing and something standing and waiting at a glance while the minutes tick away broken glass shatters nails on the chalk board you always get what they leave behind for the world to see stop and smell the shit reminders of every little mistake cause and effect and in effect you reject stand still and demand respect are you even listening does anything register this is far from over fuck it goodnight
12.
Dying a slow death decaying stink of discarded dreams thrown into the lake this will of course be the final celebration as we see the no birthdays left boy booze and psychedelics and obscenely loud music with one hellbent intention to piss off all the dipshit neighbors who couldn't bother to come silence is to many a splended thing to rise I greet whatever waits if the sun should feel like peeking out from behind these clouds ice melts ill will fades remind us that winter isn't leaving anytime soon better learn to adapt become friends with fear and learn to laugh at all of his sadistic jokes i could give everything i ever had would it ever be enough to fill you up ? is it a crime to say nothing ? just look the other way.
13.
The octopus 07:21
it was in the closet the other day what is this a crowning achievement with a dirty hippy what is it all about an octopus in the garden what is this ? he had some money now he's going to eat it looks like pasta in the bowl watch your tongue my friend I've never wronged you thieving bastards I have legal paper too The infinite barrage of drivel in each of our mental closets foot in mouth there's always something to bitch about I have no reason to speak any half truths Everybody is so full of shit you're full of it if you don't breathe fire into its lungs what foul shit will roll off your tongue
14.
Norman Bates 03:53
Six different colors oh how I love whoredom brain sluts are us dollar signs your credit is fine but I'm afraid that you might just be norman bates give me attention the world needs someone to blame as a whole drained into whatever the television flickers and i don't think I'm going home just glued to this computer would somebody please kill me these calculators look like friends it seems so inviting when the colors are neutral my god how we're maintaining there's a rat in the house after all how many french can you really deal with life is not all binary and credit you fucking lapdogs I think I might just take a piss on the floor.
15.
Early morning cutting corners greet the day to bask in sunshine every move results in delirium time slips away for those who throw away everything they ever thought would matter what do you even have to live for ? Arguments for sanity lacking basic morality
16.
Close scratching comfort cut our wrists and take it in another living lie shamelessly cold and growing thin toxic lingo words that mean shit in the eyes of the divine barely scratching the surface buy more put it away something to aspire to in the grand scheme the pieces don't fit shoved together recklessly
17.
damn it to hell you god damn faker primping and posing like anyone would ever believe your shit? I'll break a bottle over your face and feel vaguely better about everything my friend. how does it feel to be a waste of life? down on your luck, nobody gives a fuck, take a good look at yourself. New noise to clear the air don't look the other way and expect anyone to give a flying care if it ain't broken, stop trying to break with what you built up in your head But if truth is so obvious than you don't need me to tell you about all your flaws... envious eyes, jealousy and pipe dreams drinking from the toilet of ego overflowing with shit and hot air. I'm surprised you have any teeth left after you've lied through them so much Nobodies willing to believe your shit anymore, so feel free to pick yourself up by the balls out of that puddle of puke you got there on the floor... You're starting to look pathetic. The people are watching. Everybody is watching, and they're all laughing at you. What... You wanna kill yourself? Go ahead. I'm not gonna try to stop you.. Don't be a pussy. Just put the gun in your mouth... Gonna flush you away like the piece of shit you are. Die in irrelevance.
18.
Waiting to pass time staring at the wall hoping for something new a breakthrough we've been through this so many times before the last time was a test today we'll be renewed I'm always here for you just promise me you'll do the same when we're done casting blame nothing will ever be the same but we hold on as best we can moving forward it's only a lifetime it won't be that long staring at the sky waiting for something to appear as the clouds disappear and the gods send a case of beer... Guiness I hope.
19.
Empty glass shattered porcelain stained heart peeling back lifeless shades of love choking on the silence I've known it's cyanide pesticide stand still tried to give hope no regrets cheap thrills words can never hurt greedy bastards and the broken hearted jester strung out cast aside ticker tape memorial and molestation narcotic celebration eyes spy big surprise have you had your fill your fill it never should have been killed now you ignore it looking at it like it was never there to begin with in the first place now you know that it's something you can't ignore anymore who's fortunate to survive when livings only aim is to attempt a suicide what's innocence when it's man vs the god he created to stick nails in the eyes of the dead instinct leave the good intent in your wallet cruelty at the party a funeral celebration
20.
Terrors 04:45
You can't ever do it half way you were complaining about to say release the fears but stand still we've got to wait til your ok nothing will ever change you've been swept aside screaming at the wall crack another window now the goddamn neighbors are listening and the weight of the world is bearing down some sweet progression to help ease the blow to digest the venom that has an unending flow to kill the terror and all the fears deep down below locked far out of reach we kill the things that threaten us or maybe just our comfort I have no problem lashing out at these life destroying maniacs come to think of it maybe I'm just insane their hands come in grabbing at everything they see and we will deal accordingly with brutal honesty running amok dodging bullets they want you locked inside when everything is falling apart nobody will question why they've been wrongly educated to follow a policy and never question the codes that direct you to a 1800 number to deal with assholes reading from a script bill collectors have more decency than these fucking derelicts this is serious we'll make you delirous
21.
Straight through the thickness it gets old forgotten events always come back to haunt you unconscious and still silent the moment alcoholic able well written you are cancelled wash away all the years they never come back eyes wide open raw changing open raw turn back the clock but it's broken every time like every discarded dream in a landfill of hostility it may not be pretty but at least it's coherent
22.
You're asphyxiating on the events which have yet to transpire acting as if each day is going to be your last connecting all the dots together line up all your ducks and open fire we'll never tell when the lights go out decay offset heart attack the misery piles up and it looks like a losing battle it's not worth the effort but it's too late to throw it all away leave no pixel unturned you will rest one day when the insanity subsides between the truth and lies you know you never needed to try
23.
hedgemaze 04:38
In a cracked reality reflections in broken glass don't point that finger at me in search of greener grass strung out and half retarded the eternal fuck up time to shit put up or shut the door it's negative five and I feel like Jack inside your hedgemaze I've seen the sun shine once or twice back into life size there never was a prize you see I'm endlessly frustrated bitch kindly suck the dick I could scream at your face you know it's like a brick wall the truth will always outshine the lies kiss my ass and say goodbye you rat shit son of a whore I've had enough and you're still trying to feed me more so offer me a drink a smoke or a fuck or what have you and I'll tell you I'm not going to buy the shit you sell
24.
Ignorance has been a friend with it's cold arm resting firmly on my shoulder brush it away and close the door and sit in that empty room for hours pretending your here it feels like forever but it's only been a few moments flickering the light that drowns out your dreams fading the light that once lit your faith drunk on pity you surely loathe the things that I've become you give me all the reasons i'll ever need to exist don't just don't nothing is worse than being shot down thrown to the side it boils to the surface screaming never stop dreaming now just look the other way now there's nothing you can say
25.
Summers end 10:36
All the faces you can remember live or dead here and there places and moments in time a single thought captured at one point lives you'll never forget who has been through what where or when has anyone found anything at all ? Now it's freezing emotions have died believe in what we never followed I'm not here I'm already gone these possibilities are endless you never miss the past until you realize you can never go there again it used to be so warm but now the sun doesn't shine anymore I would go anywhere and I would do anything if I thought that it would matter there was a place that I used to go it's nice to be alone I remember the day with an ice cold chill under the summer sky we went dark for a day say goodbye no plans no future no joke don't tell me it's true dear god don't tell me it's true all we have are the memories in our minds you're not forgotten I'm sorry we laughed inside you know we were tied in knots heard it all day then it turned to a year we're amused and guilty sorry it's been so long these words are past due but you're not the reason I am what I've become what I am because I can't let go but I'll see you soon the news today is the joke of the town and we make light because it can't be true as the childrens smiles they turned to frowns but in 92 we'd start anew but from then on out what the kids were saying dying behind their laughter nobody deserves such an abrupt end when it comes out of nowhere how could we be so cold
26.
My dingaling 03:58
I was walking down the hall Scratching my ball but my dick got got in the elevator door My mama screamed My dick turned green and that's the end of my dingalingaling

about

Death before delusion are the 16th and 17th Cats albums, as well, the final chapter in an 8 year adventure in creating dreamy, punky, metallic and experimental rock. The writing for this album began sometime after Trainwreck was released in 2013, and was finally completed this morning... May 5th, 2014. I had planned for a 4/20 release date, but due to laziness on my part, I ended up wrapping everything up today.... Which coincidentally is like the mexican 4/20. How ironic, and unplanned.

What you are hearing on this record is my attempt to bid a farewell to something that has been very dear to me for a very long time. It is time to move on. Thanks so much for listening.

credits

released January 2, 2014

All songs written by j. Sebastiano, except My dingaling... which is an urban folksong that originated in NYC sometime in the mid to late 80's

J. Sebastiano- vocals, guitar. Bass, drums, piano, synths, production, mixing mastering.

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cats don't have souls Albany, New York

Cats don’t have souls started off as a minimalist deathrock duo and polluted itself into a drunken and deranged sound experimental prog obsessed entity with a personality disorder. Please be considerate of others and don't play this too loud.

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